STOP! LOOK!
and LISTEN!
The theme at the Shalom Center this last summer
(January to March in the southern hemisphere) was traveling along the Pan
American highway that stretches from Canada 30,000 miles south to Argentina
with a small gap in Central America. We
have been reflecting on the signposts, markers and city names as symbols of the
guidance of God in the voyage of our lives.
The small group Bible study areas have been names with villages and
towns in Chile that are along the highway: Nueva Esperanza (New Hope),
Tolerancia (Tolerance), Peor es nada
(Better Than Nothing) have become our meeting places.
In the middle of the camp season, I had to take a trip
along a road feeding into the Pan
American highway, and I made a wrong
turn in the village of La Huerta (The Orchard).
As soon as I made the turn, I knew I was heading in a direction
different from the one I wanted to get back
on the Pan American highway, so I began looking for a place to turn around. In the process, I spotted a young man by the
side of the road in front of me. He must
have been about 13 or 14 years old, sitting all alone in a patch of morning
sunlight that made his blue wheelchair glisten.
He looked at me intently, with a warning or surprised look on his face,
as I drove slowly past and straight into a steep dead end where I could barely
turn around. After some maneuvering to
avoid the barbed wire, the steep gulley, a light post and someone's carefully
tended bed of flowers, I got the car turned around and stopped, facing the
young man again. From this new
perspective, I could see he was sitting directly under a red "disco
pare" or stop sign! Since the
signpost was facing the dead end, and unseen from the main highway, I had
driven right past it.
And I stopped.
I turned off the car, and I looked and listened. All summer we had been talking about watching
out for the signs. The young man under
the stop sign looked back at me bemused - I am sure I was his morning
entertainment! If only I had looked backwards, or at least
glanced in my rearview mirror, maybe I would have stopped to heed the young
man's warning look. Before turning on
the motor again and heading back to the Pan American highway, I remembered the song my four year old
nephew, Joel, used to sing to me...
STOP! LOOK! and LISTEN! is the teaching of a popular
children's song about crossing the street, but maybe I should adopt it as a
theme song for my life. As the craziness
of summer camps, retreats and delegations threatens to absorb my energy, I need
to stop, look and listen to God's signs along the highway of my life.
Rhett Smith in the June 2013 edition
of Relevent magazine speaks of the need
to develop "mindfulness." This
is some of what he says:
So
when I talk about being mindful, I’m speaking of that self-awareness that
allows someone to truly be present and engaged in the moment. It creates an
environment that fosters wisdom and discernment. And ultimately it leads to
healthy action, rather than just reacting to something.
So let’s look at some simple practices you can experiment with over the
next month:
First, slow down and breathe. It’s
interesting to note that the word anxiety has some of its roots in the Latin
word angere, which conveys the meaning of “choking off” or “closing/shutting
in.” And for the Greeks, the word for mind, phren, relates to the diaphragm, as
they saw a connection of the mind and body as it relates to breathing.
So one of the first things that we need to remind ourselves when we are
anxious in marriage—which is often—is to simply breathe.
Second, practice being present. You need to
make a conscious effort each day to be present in your life and in the lives of
others. That can sound very vague and complicated, but it actually just takes
effort and practice. So let me start with two simple suggestions:
1.
Listen. Anytime someone is speaking,
concentrate on just listening, rather than forming what you are going to say
next.
2. Be patient. Anxiety often emerges when we aren’t patient and we are
trying to live into the future.
Third, practice being curious. This also
takes a conscious effort each day. We often assume a lot about what we think
our spouse or someone else is saying or thinking. Over time, we lose curiosity
for this person who at one time in our lives was a mystery we couldn’t get
enough of. And when curiosity leaves our relationships, they often dry up and
become stagnant. Here are two suggestions to get the ball rolling:
1.
Ask questions of curiosity. Questions
like, “Tell me what you experienced this week at work that was life giving?”
“Where did you feel most connected to God today? Where did you feel most
distant from God today?” “What is something that you have been really
passionate about this year, and how can I best support that passion?”
2. Make a rule that when you go on a date with your spouse (or in my
case, out with a friend - EH) that you
will create space to get to know them—that you will be curious. Often we spend
a lot of time gossiping about friends, neighbors, family or talking about work
and the business of family life.
I promise that as
you begin to practice being more mindful in your life, you will take notice of
these things in your own life and marriage. And as you notice these things, you
will be compelled to actions that lead to positive changes. So practice these
things over the next month and I believe God will lead you ... into a new stage of connection and growth.
